So exhausted and frustrated and argh.
Tomorrow I have to deal with the hell that is Centrelink because after no longer being employed due to medical reasons, I was given an unfit to work certificate from my GP and she said to go to Centrelink and get a payment. But it’s never that easy. I went in once, which was absolutely terrible, I had a panic attack outside, was snappy at a very rude staff member who deserved it, then sat amongst smelly, unwashed people for about 40 minutes until somebody called my name. To be fair she was really lovely, and understood it was difficult for me to be there with my anxiety and other issues, so she organised the claim for payment for me and booked another appointment. I had to go to an interview at a different branch a week later. So I went to that on Monday, and although I was incredibly nervous and worked myself into a panic over it, it wasn’t bad and lasted about 20 minutes. Really all it involved was handing over paper work, answering a couple of questions and sitting there while she entered all the information into the computer. I am now able to get Youth Allowance, but tomorrow I have to attend a Job Capacity Assessment, where a medical professional assesses the impact my condition has on my ability to work or study in a full time role, and if they say I’m fine, then I have to start looking for work and proving it to them or they cancel the payment. I have probably made it worse by looking on the internet and finding multiple cases where people with mental health conditions were treated badly by Centrelink in these assessments and basically told to get over it and start working again. Now I’m terrified, because I don’t want to be assessed, or rejected, or anything at all. I’d rather stay in the house than be at Centrelink at 9 in the morning, ugh. Thanks for being stupid brain.
Then a bunch of other bad stuff has happened so you know.
As a pretty accurate summary of this week so far I’d say I’ve been feeling awful. And I had so much hope at the beginning of the week. Damn.
Sorry to be such a downer, Internet friends. I’ll be happy again tomorrow, I promise.
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