Tag Archives: gym

Never fear, dysfunction is here

Actually, no, you should probably fear. But hi again. For a while there my brain stopped working, and the only words I could possibly have blogged would’ve been errr derrrrrrppp hurrrrr durrr blerghghghgh, so just be glad I didn’t do that.

To update you on the struggles of an anxious woman (hah, little girl more like), I am having very ridiculous days of adjusting to a new dosage of medication, appointments here there and everywhere with a doctor, psychologist and now a disability provider, which I am forced into by the lovely people at Centrelink, who make me want to stab myself in the eye with a blunt, rusting pair of scissors whenever I have to deal with them. Thankfully everyone else is understanding, just not the people that I unfortunately have to rely on to give me income until I can work without bursting into tears and falling to a melty pile of depression on the floor.

To cope, and feed my never-ending abyss of a stomach, I have started cooking delicious things when I can be bothered. It’s nice that no matter what I cook, Nick always compliments me, whether that’s because he loves me and wants to me nice, or because he genuinely is happy with anything even vaguely resembling food being in his mouth, I don’t really mind. I’m starting to experiment, to find recipes that have a lot of steps and attempting things. Banana bread topped with honey covered mixed nuts, brownie with chocolate ganache and vanilla cream, lots of stir frys, sauces, pork dishes, it’s a really delicious hobby. Although now I have to remember to go to the gym if I’m going to be eating things like chocolate covered raspberries. Maybe now I can start putting up photos and recipes of my food, like everybody on Instagram.

This month will be a hectic month, so I will apologize in advance for any lack of posting, since I have many appointments, have to get sorted to move out, pack and throw out stuff, get Franco fixed so he’s not a rude a**hole, and cook fattening desserts every night. Yuuuuuuum.



All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014.

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Mondays aren’t made for blog writing

Day 1 of being healthy, have so far resisted the urge to eat chocolate or a bag of candy. Mainly because I’ve been too busy. Got up early to do some things, trains were delayed, I caught the wrong bus, and it was appearing that this was not my day. But I have eaten well, and am now home, with my fridge full of fruit at my disposal, errands for Monday all sorted by midday. I feel so accomplished, not even because it’s Monday, just because.

Tonight’s workout is like a dark storm cloud drifting closer and closer to me, don’t be surprised if I die at the gym. If I don’t die I’ll be bed ridden tomorrow fo’ sho’. Nevertheless, I’m determined to have motivation, so that I can be hot one day, *sigh*.

Today is a good day internet, by my standards.

Time to do wedding research, which I will no doubt talk about thoroughly tomorrow, you may go now. I’ll watch as you walk away in your tight jeans.

Shake dat ass, watch yo’ self




All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

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Junk (food) in the trunk

Long-time, no see WordPress. I may have been distracted by doing nothing and watching American and British shows on the laptop because Australian television is awful. I’m sorry for my lack of blogging, but you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I assume you all reeeeally love me right now.

Speaking of love, it’s Valentine’s Day next Friday and I am pretty darn excited. It will be my first proper Feb 14th celebration since my previous partner believed that it was stupid and he didn’t need a date to dictate when he should buy me gifts. Little tip, only counts if you do romantic things and buy gifts on other days just because. Pick one.

So this year my lovely fiancé will be doing something nice with me Friday night after he finishes work, but it’s a surprise for me, so I’m very happy. If it involves food I will be completely satisfied. Fooooooooooooooooooood.

Also, I have been looking up meal plans and gym routines because, I am super lazy and have no motivation for anything that involves leaving the house, so I’ve found a six week meal plan for couples, with a shopping list too! Agh, perfection. Find it here if you’re interested and lethargic -> http://www.healthyfoodhealthyplanet.org/menu-plan-info/couples-singles/

I also found what looks like a very tiring routine for my body shape when I’m at the gym so I can’t just do what I feel like anymore, but in turn I will actually start seeing/feeling results (I mean that in the sense that I will physically and mentally be less exhausted, not that I grab my love handles all the time). Eep. There’s a couple of other body shapes on the website as well, keeping in mind this is for the ladehs, sorry boys, and here’s the link for that -> http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/best-workouts-for-a-boyish-body-type

Although it is for boyish body types in girls, so I guess if you’re a skinny mini boy then go ahead. I will update with the progress of both the meal plan and workout, not like constant before and after photos don’t worry, just a “yay I look like a babe today” or “I don’t feel like a blimp is housed in my stomach this week, congratulations me!”




In other news, it’s been about a week since I brought my adorable ferret home and he’s a handful. But an entertaining handful. He is getting better with biting, if I’m patting him or he’s near my hands he will sniff and lick and sometimes nip but won’t bite hard, unless I’m wearing gloves then he knows it’s play time and he can be crazy. He loves feet, so that’s proving to be a bit more of a struggle. We have taken to wearing two pairs of socks when he’s out, or just keeping our feet on the couch. You can usually tell that he’s about to bite your toes because he puts his paw on them first, but if he latches on before you can get him, he really hates to let go. Otherwise he’s understanding no, but ignores me sometimes because he’s cheeky. Sleeps like an idiot, falls off the platforms in his cage a lot because he is a bit special, and has complete spaz attacks but I really do love him. Franco brings me immense joy, and we’re going to tackle putting on his collar/harness and getting him used to the lead for when we go to the vet next weekend for vaccinations, exciting!




Other interesting events in my life of dysfunction include finishing a thigh tattoo I started in September (above, scuse the legs), aaaand that’s it. It’s mainly just me sitting around listening to Violent Soho, Lily Allen and Vance Joy, flipping through bridal magazines, watching Extras and staring at Franco for hours every day. I did however get to visit my ex-workmates yesterday, and it was excellent. They are all incredible people whom I miss every day. That’s always the way it goes. I find people I like and then never get to see them again because of some reason or another. Ah what a depressing note to finish this blog on. So here’s another ferret photo, I worry about his mental capacities. This is how he sleeps quite often.


That’s enough madness for now, adios




All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

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Paramore and more and more





Well I think it’s about time we talk about Paramore, because holy damn. They are way too amazing. If you don’t like them then get outta here, coz this entire blog is going to be about how much I love them and why they are the bestestestest.

This is sparked partly because I recently went to their concert on the self titled tour, aw yeah, and the other part because I’ve loved them for nearly ten years, which makes me feel kind of old (I’m not technically but I feel it, mainly in the face). Hayley is not only consistently energetic on stage, but also aaaalways sounds brilliant. Not to mention she says the loveliest things between songs. Like motivational messages about taking it one step at a time, which in my current situation certainly made me feel better. Taylor, with an injured ankle, still limped around stage being adorable. Especially in the interludes. And Jeremy, just like Hayley, has amazing energy.

I don’t want to be one of those people who are like “omg music iz my lyf xxx” but with Paramore and a few other bands, I survived my teen years, mostly unscathed (not really). So I will luv dem 4eva.

Watch the Ain’t It Fun video clip!

On another note, missed the blog yesterday because of a few reasons…

a)      Stayed in bed half the day watching Workaholics

b)      Half assedly cleaned the apartment

c)      Sweated buckets but with a cute hairstyle at the gym


Also, a matter of extreme importance….

I WANT A RAT BUT MY FIANCÉ WON’T LET ME HAVE ONE!!!!! I might start a petition. His name will be Rupert. The rat…not the petition.

Support me!

Xoxoooxoxo IRL


Pictures used have watermarks and are not mine, last one I found on google so not sure of source. Definitely check out Sammy Roenfeldt, he’s an amazing photographer.


All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©


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