Tag Archives: franco

To some degree

I know, I know. Where have I been? Gallivanting around the countryside I’d like to say, alas it is not true. The last couple of weeks have been fairly unpleasant, and without going into morbid, depressing detail, the short of it is that there was a death in the family. Now that’s always a sad occasion, but especially so when the person was one of the most lovely, warm, beacons of light ever to shine upon your existence. Cancer is just a massive a-hole. If anyone reading this feels compelled to do so, look up “Bundy Runners: Wishing for a Cure” on Facebook and like them, and the following is a link to their team page for Relay for Life, they are currently trying to fundraise for this year. This is comprised of some family members that my deepest sympathies and love goes out to right now and forever.

Link: http://wa.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/TeamPage.aspx?teamID=69757&langPref=en-CA

 

In other news I finally received my beautiful, shiny, pretty Bachelor’s Degree, and now I need to buy the most expensive frame I can find, with gold and silver and diamonds and hang it on my wall. Then proceed to invite everybody I know over to stare at it whilst sipping wine. Ah, classy. But really, I’m feeling a little bit proud of myself now that I finally have it here to look at. Now I just need to do something with my vast knowledge of literature and the English language. Lyk rite a rly gud buk dat wil mayk me munee.

 

 

Whilst I brainstorm for award-winning story ideas (I could probably use a few of my dreams about apocalypses and a weird brainwashing island ((if only Lost hadn’t been done yet)), I sit at home with Franco who is rapidly growing into a real boy…I mean, ferret. He’s now just over 3 months, and is bigger, fluffier and cuter than ever. The whole biting thing is confusing, he has stopped just biting you constantly, particularly feet when he’s out of the cage and you’re doing things, but when he’s playing, he has started being completely psychotic about biting. So it’s time to install some new disciplinary measures. Mainly just scruffing, but we’ve also discovered he hates getting his tail wet, so that’s a good trick up my sleeve. Speaking of water, he loves it, aside from the tail thing, if it’s a hot day I will fill up a little container with water and he dunks his whole head and front legs in. Very adorable. Will try to get a video as photos are pretty impossible with a creature that moves so fast.

 

Other quick updates are that our lease is up in 2 months and we’re looking for a nicer place to live; I am hopefully going on a road trip holiday in June, woo; and in true dysfunctional form I have my first ever appointment with a real psychologist on March 6th, not exciting at all. Hopefully in the latter half of next week I’ll be in a pleasant mood and will be back here ranting about wedding plans, Canada trips and feeling not like a bag of wet rice. Here’s to the future, cheers *clinks wine glass at 11am* (joking, not an alcoholic…yet….ha…hhhaaaa)

 

 

Ily internet, you are my life source

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014.

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Junk (food) in the trunk

Long-time, no see WordPress. I may have been distracted by doing nothing and watching American and British shows on the laptop because Australian television is awful. I’m sorry for my lack of blogging, but you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I assume you all reeeeally love me right now.

Speaking of love, it’s Valentine’s Day next Friday and I am pretty darn excited. It will be my first proper Feb 14th celebration since my previous partner believed that it was stupid and he didn’t need a date to dictate when he should buy me gifts. Little tip, only counts if you do romantic things and buy gifts on other days just because. Pick one.

So this year my lovely fiancé will be doing something nice with me Friday night after he finishes work, but it’s a surprise for me, so I’m very happy. If it involves food I will be completely satisfied. Fooooooooooooooooooood.

Also, I have been looking up meal plans and gym routines because, I am super lazy and have no motivation for anything that involves leaving the house, so I’ve found a six week meal plan for couples, with a shopping list too! Agh, perfection. Find it here if you’re interested and lethargic -> http://www.healthyfoodhealthyplanet.org/menu-plan-info/couples-singles/

I also found what looks like a very tiring routine for my body shape when I’m at the gym so I can’t just do what I feel like anymore, but in turn I will actually start seeing/feeling results (I mean that in the sense that I will physically and mentally be less exhausted, not that I grab my love handles all the time). Eep. There’s a couple of other body shapes on the website as well, keeping in mind this is for the ladehs, sorry boys, and here’s the link for that -> http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/best-workouts-for-a-boyish-body-type

Although it is for boyish body types in girls, so I guess if you’re a skinny mini boy then go ahead. I will update with the progress of both the meal plan and workout, not like constant before and after photos don’t worry, just a “yay I look like a babe today” or “I don’t feel like a blimp is housed in my stomach this week, congratulations me!”

 

 

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In other news, it’s been about a week since I brought my adorable ferret home and he’s a handful. But an entertaining handful. He is getting better with biting, if I’m patting him or he’s near my hands he will sniff and lick and sometimes nip but won’t bite hard, unless I’m wearing gloves then he knows it’s play time and he can be crazy. He loves feet, so that’s proving to be a bit more of a struggle. We have taken to wearing two pairs of socks when he’s out, or just keeping our feet on the couch. You can usually tell that he’s about to bite your toes because he puts his paw on them first, but if he latches on before you can get him, he really hates to let go. Otherwise he’s understanding no, but ignores me sometimes because he’s cheeky. Sleeps like an idiot, falls off the platforms in his cage a lot because he is a bit special, and has complete spaz attacks but I really do love him. Franco brings me immense joy, and we’re going to tackle putting on his collar/harness and getting him used to the lead for when we go to the vet next weekend for vaccinations, exciting!

 

 

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Other interesting events in my life of dysfunction include finishing a thigh tattoo I started in September (above, scuse the legs), aaaand that’s it. It’s mainly just me sitting around listening to Violent Soho, Lily Allen and Vance Joy, flipping through bridal magazines, watching Extras and staring at Franco for hours every day. I did however get to visit my ex-workmates yesterday, and it was excellent. They are all incredible people whom I miss every day. That’s always the way it goes. I find people I like and then never get to see them again because of some reason or another. Ah what a depressing note to finish this blog on. So here’s another ferret photo, I worry about his mental capacities. This is how he sleeps quite often.

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That’s enough madness for now, adios

 

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

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Francolicious

Oh hey,

I didn’t see you there. Let me just put some pants on.

In today’s instalment of Helen’s Life Isn’t Very Interesting, something amazing happened! I am now the incredibly happy and proud owner of a two month old, albino ferret. His name is Franco and he’s pretty much the cutest thing in the whole world. I will be posting photos constantly so, lucky you.

I am hoping his antics and furry little face will bring me a lot of joy and distraction so I can start feeling better while I sit at home jobless and insane. Now while I write blogs I can look at him sleeping peacefully in his badass cage, 6 stories, two hammock beds, some toys and other cool stuff, which I’m sure he will eventually get used to once his tiny baby legs learn to actually get him around places instead of being spastic. He’s cheeky, but now I have the job (that I don’t get paid for, ugh) of teaching him not to be a butthole. Challenging I’m sure.

Helen & Franco 4ever & always oxoxoxo

 

In other news, I’m super great at ping-pong. Like, really really good.

P.s. I’ll get some good photos and post them this week. Photos of myself 😉

P.p.s. kidding, photos of the ferret…and me, because I’m getting my hair done 😀 it’s a good week.

 

Love love love love love

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose Of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

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