Tag Archives: ferret

Never fear, dysfunction is here

Actually, no, you should probably fear. But hi again. For a while there my brain stopped working, and the only words I could possibly have blogged would’ve been errr derrrrrrppp hurrrrr durrr blerghghghgh, so just be glad I didn’t do that.

To update you on the struggles of an anxious woman (hah, little girl more like), I am having very ridiculous days of adjusting to a new dosage of medication, appointments here there and everywhere with a doctor, psychologist and now a disability provider, which I am forced into by the lovely people at Centrelink, who make me want to stab myself in the eye with a blunt, rusting pair of scissors whenever I have to deal with them. Thankfully everyone else is understanding, just not the people that I unfortunately have to rely on to give me income until I can work without bursting into tears and falling to a melty pile of depression on the floor.

To cope, and feed my never-ending abyss of a stomach, I have started cooking delicious things when I can be bothered. It’s nice that no matter what I cook, Nick always compliments me, whether that’s because he loves me and wants to me nice, or because he genuinely is happy with anything even vaguely resembling food being in his mouth, I don’t really mind. I’m starting to experiment, to find recipes that have a lot of steps and attempting things. Banana bread topped with honey covered mixed nuts, brownie with chocolate ganache and vanilla cream, lots of stir frys, sauces, pork dishes, it’s a really delicious hobby. Although now I have to remember to go to the gym if I’m going to be eating things like chocolate covered raspberries. Maybe now I can start putting up photos and recipes of my food, like everybody on Instagram.

This month will be a hectic month, so I will apologize in advance for any lack of posting, since I have many appointments, have to get sorted to move out, pack and throw out stuff, get Franco fixed so he’s not a rude a**hole, and cook fattening desserts every night. Yuuuuuuum.

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014.

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One does not simply get married

So Wedding mode has switched itself on, I’ve picked a (possible) date, and can now actually start thinking of venues, colours, dresses, suits, etc. It is terrific fun but also quite terrifying and at times I feel lost in a sea of love, in a kind of sickening way, not a nice, I’m drowning in rose petals way. So here I am at square one, utilising what I can in terms of websites, apps and magazines to find out what square one actually is. Hours of trawling through Pinterest wedding boards, and wedding planning sites like EasyWeddings have helped but also hindered because now I feel overwhelmed and have way too many ideas that I must must must condense into some kind of coherent, classy, unique style. The rundown of things I have sorted out goes as follows:

–          Nothing.

I suppose that guest list, budget and style/theme are good places to start, so I’m roughly jotting down ideas, and the names of people I like (nobody….kidding!). There is a reception venue I love so hopefully that will work out, and it also has a maximum capacity so that gives me something to work with for guest list so I don’t just invite everybody I’ve ever met because I think that’s nice.

If anybody reading this has any opinions, suggestions, resources or anything to do with any aspect of weddings, please do share.

On a non-wedding note, tiny baby Franco is rapidly growing into middle-sized a**hole Franco, but that’s ok, he can bite me all he likes, but I have allllllll the power. You want food and your man-ness still attached to your body? Watch yourself.

Also OUTRAGE! LEONARDO DICAPRIO DID NOT WIN AN OSCAR YET AGAIN. I KNOW THIS IS A BIT LATE BUT I HAVE JUST SPENT THE LAST FEW DAYS BEING ANGRY ABOUT IT. And also going through websites entirely dedicated to posting memes about it. The best.

I promise to write more, and I will continue to annoy you with my love and share wedding thoughts. Eep.

xo

 

 

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014.

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To some degree

I know, I know. Where have I been? Gallivanting around the countryside I’d like to say, alas it is not true. The last couple of weeks have been fairly unpleasant, and without going into morbid, depressing detail, the short of it is that there was a death in the family. Now that’s always a sad occasion, but especially so when the person was one of the most lovely, warm, beacons of light ever to shine upon your existence. Cancer is just a massive a-hole. If anyone reading this feels compelled to do so, look up “Bundy Runners: Wishing for a Cure” on Facebook and like them, and the following is a link to their team page for Relay for Life, they are currently trying to fundraise for this year. This is comprised of some family members that my deepest sympathies and love goes out to right now and forever.

Link: http://wa.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/TeamPage.aspx?teamID=69757&langPref=en-CA

 

In other news I finally received my beautiful, shiny, pretty Bachelor’s Degree, and now I need to buy the most expensive frame I can find, with gold and silver and diamonds and hang it on my wall. Then proceed to invite everybody I know over to stare at it whilst sipping wine. Ah, classy. But really, I’m feeling a little bit proud of myself now that I finally have it here to look at. Now I just need to do something with my vast knowledge of literature and the English language. Lyk rite a rly gud buk dat wil mayk me munee.

 

 

Whilst I brainstorm for award-winning story ideas (I could probably use a few of my dreams about apocalypses and a weird brainwashing island ((if only Lost hadn’t been done yet)), I sit at home with Franco who is rapidly growing into a real boy…I mean, ferret. He’s now just over 3 months, and is bigger, fluffier and cuter than ever. The whole biting thing is confusing, he has stopped just biting you constantly, particularly feet when he’s out of the cage and you’re doing things, but when he’s playing, he has started being completely psychotic about biting. So it’s time to install some new disciplinary measures. Mainly just scruffing, but we’ve also discovered he hates getting his tail wet, so that’s a good trick up my sleeve. Speaking of water, he loves it, aside from the tail thing, if it’s a hot day I will fill up a little container with water and he dunks his whole head and front legs in. Very adorable. Will try to get a video as photos are pretty impossible with a creature that moves so fast.

 

Other quick updates are that our lease is up in 2 months and we’re looking for a nicer place to live; I am hopefully going on a road trip holiday in June, woo; and in true dysfunctional form I have my first ever appointment with a real psychologist on March 6th, not exciting at all. Hopefully in the latter half of next week I’ll be in a pleasant mood and will be back here ranting about wedding plans, Canada trips and feeling not like a bag of wet rice. Here’s to the future, cheers *clinks wine glass at 11am* (joking, not an alcoholic…yet….ha…hhhaaaa)

 

 

Ily internet, you are my life source

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014.

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Junk (food) in the trunk

Long-time, no see WordPress. I may have been distracted by doing nothing and watching American and British shows on the laptop because Australian television is awful. I’m sorry for my lack of blogging, but you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I assume you all reeeeally love me right now.

Speaking of love, it’s Valentine’s Day next Friday and I am pretty darn excited. It will be my first proper Feb 14th celebration since my previous partner believed that it was stupid and he didn’t need a date to dictate when he should buy me gifts. Little tip, only counts if you do romantic things and buy gifts on other days just because. Pick one.

So this year my lovely fiancé will be doing something nice with me Friday night after he finishes work, but it’s a surprise for me, so I’m very happy. If it involves food I will be completely satisfied. Fooooooooooooooooooood.

Also, I have been looking up meal plans and gym routines because, I am super lazy and have no motivation for anything that involves leaving the house, so I’ve found a six week meal plan for couples, with a shopping list too! Agh, perfection. Find it here if you’re interested and lethargic -> http://www.healthyfoodhealthyplanet.org/menu-plan-info/couples-singles/

I also found what looks like a very tiring routine for my body shape when I’m at the gym so I can’t just do what I feel like anymore, but in turn I will actually start seeing/feeling results (I mean that in the sense that I will physically and mentally be less exhausted, not that I grab my love handles all the time). Eep. There’s a couple of other body shapes on the website as well, keeping in mind this is for the ladehs, sorry boys, and here’s the link for that -> http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/best-workouts-for-a-boyish-body-type

Although it is for boyish body types in girls, so I guess if you’re a skinny mini boy then go ahead. I will update with the progress of both the meal plan and workout, not like constant before and after photos don’t worry, just a “yay I look like a babe today” or “I don’t feel like a blimp is housed in my stomach this week, congratulations me!”

 

 

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In other news, it’s been about a week since I brought my adorable ferret home and he’s a handful. But an entertaining handful. He is getting better with biting, if I’m patting him or he’s near my hands he will sniff and lick and sometimes nip but won’t bite hard, unless I’m wearing gloves then he knows it’s play time and he can be crazy. He loves feet, so that’s proving to be a bit more of a struggle. We have taken to wearing two pairs of socks when he’s out, or just keeping our feet on the couch. You can usually tell that he’s about to bite your toes because he puts his paw on them first, but if he latches on before you can get him, he really hates to let go. Otherwise he’s understanding no, but ignores me sometimes because he’s cheeky. Sleeps like an idiot, falls off the platforms in his cage a lot because he is a bit special, and has complete spaz attacks but I really do love him. Franco brings me immense joy, and we’re going to tackle putting on his collar/harness and getting him used to the lead for when we go to the vet next weekend for vaccinations, exciting!

 

 

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Other interesting events in my life of dysfunction include finishing a thigh tattoo I started in September (above, scuse the legs), aaaand that’s it. It’s mainly just me sitting around listening to Violent Soho, Lily Allen and Vance Joy, flipping through bridal magazines, watching Extras and staring at Franco for hours every day. I did however get to visit my ex-workmates yesterday, and it was excellent. They are all incredible people whom I miss every day. That’s always the way it goes. I find people I like and then never get to see them again because of some reason or another. Ah what a depressing note to finish this blog on. So here’s another ferret photo, I worry about his mental capacities. This is how he sleeps quite often.

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That’s enough madness for now, adios

 

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

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