Category Archives: Entertainment

Never fear, dysfunction is here

Actually, no, you should probably fear. But hi again. For a while there my brain stopped working, and the only words I could possibly have blogged would’ve been errr derrrrrrppp hurrrrr durrr blerghghghgh, so just be glad I didn’t do that.

To update you on the struggles of an anxious woman (hah, little girl more like), I am having very ridiculous days of adjusting to a new dosage of medication, appointments here there and everywhere with a doctor, psychologist and now a disability provider, which I am forced into by the lovely people at Centrelink, who make me want to stab myself in the eye with a blunt, rusting pair of scissors whenever I have to deal with them. Thankfully everyone else is understanding, just not the people that I unfortunately have to rely on to give me income until I can work without bursting into tears and falling to a melty pile of depression on the floor.

To cope, and feed my never-ending abyss of a stomach, I have started cooking delicious things when I can be bothered. It’s nice that no matter what I cook, Nick always compliments me, whether that’s because he loves me and wants to me nice, or because he genuinely is happy with anything even vaguely resembling food being in his mouth, I don’t really mind. I’m starting to experiment, to find recipes that have a lot of steps and attempting things. Banana bread topped with honey covered mixed nuts, brownie with chocolate ganache and vanilla cream, lots of stir frys, sauces, pork dishes, it’s a really delicious hobby. Although now I have to remember to go to the gym if I’m going to be eating things like chocolate covered raspberries. Maybe now I can start putting up photos and recipes of my food, like everybody on Instagram.

This month will be a hectic month, so I will apologize in advance for any lack of posting, since I have many appointments, have to get sorted to move out, pack and throw out stuff, get Franco fixed so he’s not a rude a**hole, and cook fattening desserts every night. Yuuuuuuum.

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014.

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I wrote this yesterday but forgot to post it

First item on the agenda, I am so very muchly looking forward to cold weather. I cannot deal with the heat, I melt like the wicked witch of the west. Even slightly cool days are exciting for me, I get to start wearing jeans and cute jackets and scarfs and beanies again, oh beanies, I’ve missed your warm, woollen presence on my head.

Second item, old people are very interesting. I visited my nanna today (Nanny), and she is the type of grandparent that loves to talk, she is delightful and sweet and cute as a button. So she was telling us about her childhood, how she would have to get up before school and milk the cows at the age of 8. How she got bucked off a pony and landed in some rocks and broke her tailbone. And she imitated her Greek mother, always hilarious. Sometimes I forgot that older people have really great stories that it’s worth asking about and taking time to listen to. I can’t even compare a part of my childhood to hers, getting up to do chores before school, and not just sweeping the house, but milking cows and doing work around the farm. Then her mother would make milk, and butter, and cream. Her father would kill pigs and they’d make sausages, and use one of the bedrooms to hang them up. Grandparents, share with us your wisdom and funny stories.

Third item, I’m in a weird mood today. Half motivated, half listening to Fall Out Boy and thinking every lyric is speaking to me, am I 15 again? I have decided that since I’m a fatty (I’m not, just none of my clothes fit anymore, weird) I’m going to go through my giant, stuffed, unorganized wardrobe and get rid of things because…I’m not going to wear the 10 pairs of pants I own that won’t go over my thighs anymore. Yeah me, organization, logic, woo.

Other words that describe my last few days:

Franco sucks. Walking Dead. Wedding. Board Games. Wine.

 

 

Bleeeeeeergh

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014

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Junk (food) in the trunk

Long-time, no see WordPress. I may have been distracted by doing nothing and watching American and British shows on the laptop because Australian television is awful. I’m sorry for my lack of blogging, but you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I assume you all reeeeally love me right now.

Speaking of love, it’s Valentine’s Day next Friday and I am pretty darn excited. It will be my first proper Feb 14th celebration since my previous partner believed that it was stupid and he didn’t need a date to dictate when he should buy me gifts. Little tip, only counts if you do romantic things and buy gifts on other days just because. Pick one.

So this year my lovely fiancé will be doing something nice with me Friday night after he finishes work, but it’s a surprise for me, so I’m very happy. If it involves food I will be completely satisfied. Fooooooooooooooooooood.

Also, I have been looking up meal plans and gym routines because, I am super lazy and have no motivation for anything that involves leaving the house, so I’ve found a six week meal plan for couples, with a shopping list too! Agh, perfection. Find it here if you’re interested and lethargic -> http://www.healthyfoodhealthyplanet.org/menu-plan-info/couples-singles/

I also found what looks like a very tiring routine for my body shape when I’m at the gym so I can’t just do what I feel like anymore, but in turn I will actually start seeing/feeling results (I mean that in the sense that I will physically and mentally be less exhausted, not that I grab my love handles all the time). Eep. There’s a couple of other body shapes on the website as well, keeping in mind this is for the ladehs, sorry boys, and here’s the link for that -> http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/best-workouts-for-a-boyish-body-type

Although it is for boyish body types in girls, so I guess if you’re a skinny mini boy then go ahead. I will update with the progress of both the meal plan and workout, not like constant before and after photos don’t worry, just a “yay I look like a babe today” or “I don’t feel like a blimp is housed in my stomach this week, congratulations me!”

 

 

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In other news, it’s been about a week since I brought my adorable ferret home and he’s a handful. But an entertaining handful. He is getting better with biting, if I’m patting him or he’s near my hands he will sniff and lick and sometimes nip but won’t bite hard, unless I’m wearing gloves then he knows it’s play time and he can be crazy. He loves feet, so that’s proving to be a bit more of a struggle. We have taken to wearing two pairs of socks when he’s out, or just keeping our feet on the couch. You can usually tell that he’s about to bite your toes because he puts his paw on them first, but if he latches on before you can get him, he really hates to let go. Otherwise he’s understanding no, but ignores me sometimes because he’s cheeky. Sleeps like an idiot, falls off the platforms in his cage a lot because he is a bit special, and has complete spaz attacks but I really do love him. Franco brings me immense joy, and we’re going to tackle putting on his collar/harness and getting him used to the lead for when we go to the vet next weekend for vaccinations, exciting!

 

 

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Other interesting events in my life of dysfunction include finishing a thigh tattoo I started in September (above, scuse the legs), aaaand that’s it. It’s mainly just me sitting around listening to Violent Soho, Lily Allen and Vance Joy, flipping through bridal magazines, watching Extras and staring at Franco for hours every day. I did however get to visit my ex-workmates yesterday, and it was excellent. They are all incredible people whom I miss every day. That’s always the way it goes. I find people I like and then never get to see them again because of some reason or another. Ah what a depressing note to finish this blog on. So here’s another ferret photo, I worry about his mental capacities. This is how he sleeps quite often.

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That’s enough madness for now, adios

 

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

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Paramore and more and more

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Well I think it’s about time we talk about Paramore, because holy damn. They are way too amazing. If you don’t like them then get outta here, coz this entire blog is going to be about how much I love them and why they are the bestestestest.

This is sparked partly because I recently went to their concert on the self titled tour, aw yeah, and the other part because I’ve loved them for nearly ten years, which makes me feel kind of old (I’m not technically but I feel it, mainly in the face). Hayley is not only consistently energetic on stage, but also aaaalways sounds brilliant. Not to mention she says the loveliest things between songs. Like motivational messages about taking it one step at a time, which in my current situation certainly made me feel better. Taylor, with an injured ankle, still limped around stage being adorable. Especially in the interludes. And Jeremy, just like Hayley, has amazing energy.

I don’t want to be one of those people who are like “omg music iz my lyf xxx” but with Paramore and a few other bands, I survived my teen years, mostly unscathed (not really). So I will luv dem 4eva.

Watch the Ain’t It Fun video clip!

On another note, missed the blog yesterday because of a few reasons…

a)      Stayed in bed half the day watching Workaholics

b)      Half assedly cleaned the apartment

c)      Sweated buckets but with a cute hairstyle at the gym

 

Also, a matter of extreme importance….

I WANT A RAT BUT MY FIANCÉ WON’T LET ME HAVE ONE!!!!! I might start a petition. His name will be Rupert. The rat…not the petition.

Support me!

Xoxoooxoxo IRL

 

Pictures used have watermarks and are not mine, last one I found on google so not sure of source. Definitely check out Sammy Roenfeldt, he’s an amazing photographer.

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

 

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Stop flirting with me

Hey worldwide webs, sup?

I am feeling like a giant heap of crap today so the focus of this blog is going to be things I reeeeally like, to take my mind off it. It won’t really be interesting, but will definitely be helpful if you’re planning on stalking me at some point in the near future (you’re welcome).

I love City and Colour, if you’ve never listened to the ear honey that is Dallas Greens voice, bbbooooyyyyy you are missing out. It’s pretty much just acoustic loveliness, and a lot of his music is like the same song changed slightly, but it’s still nice and relaxing and he’s just really attractive. Hint for the stalkers, buy me the albums and I might go on a date with you.

I also really like the girl who works at the café downstairs near my apartment building, she has Pokémon tattoos, and what I am 75% sure are the most heart-warming eyes I’ve ever seen. Not to mention she makes excellent drinks and remembers what I want every time. She’s mine though, so, back off.

Here’s a condensed list of some of the things I am grateful for/like:

  • my fiancés pretty haircut
  • quizzes
  • internet forums (not the creepy kind, I’m not a 45 year old man I promise)
  • cheese
  • my ability to cook steak really excellently
  • the contents of my iPod
  • the contents of my brain (most of the time), (actually no, maybe half the time)
  • the ping-pong table at my gym
  • my MOH (maid of honour, learn my acronyms)
  • my super cute mum
  • the invention of doors, honestly I have frequent bad dreams where I have to pee but toilets don’t have doors, it’s awful
  • Rekorderlig cider, mmmmm

If anyone out there is currently watching me while I write this, through a…well placed camera or hidden air duct, just keep all of these in mind. I certainly wouldn’t be against receiving a giant gift basket filled with fancy cheeses and cider, and…a quiz book.

Not. I have a fiancé, geez. Watch someone else while they shower thanks.

 

I’ll report back tomorrow, with maybe a super great haircut, if I can be bothered leaving the house. Does anyone care? Poll results suggest no.

 

Be safe blogdwellers

 

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction, 2014 ©

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Leonardo Dicapriohyesplease.

Well, well, well…what do we have here?

Yum

THE HANDSOMEST MAN EVER IS WHAT.

My passion for Leo is currently at a reignited, all time high, because I went to see Wolf of Wall Street. A good portion of this blog is going to be an amateur, fan girlish review of the movie and also just sporadic comments about how pretty his face is, I apologize in advance. I also apologize for the two day gap between posts, and the miserable quality of the previous one, but you know, it was a busy weekend of drinks and friends and staying in bed all day. Enough of that, let’s get to it.

POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERTS, I DON’T KNOW.

So the movie, it was great. I expected it to be. However, I will tell you now, if you don’t want to sit through three hours of Leo, Jonah Hill & co. consuming more illicit substances than any single human ever should, swearing above and beyond the humble s & f’s, having sex (multiple times with multiple people) and a whooooole lotta boobs, then probably don’t see this movie. Or just because you feel weird about seeing Jonah Hill masturbating at a pool party.

Having mentioned that, IT IS SO GOOD. I might be biased because I love many of the cast members, and Scorsese is great, but it was clever and funny and awkward and, and, and AH. If you aren’t offended by any of the aforementioned reasons that it was rated R then definitely watch it, even just to see Leo and Jonah play guys totally messed up on drugs. Hiiiiighhhhhh-larious (pun!)

The storyline is clever, he starts his own firm of stockbrokers and practically is ripping people off, but he does it so well. Eventually it catches up to him, but he has a few tricks up his sleeve and a lot of friends and acquaintances that are just as messed up as he is. Humble beginnings to not to humble ends, how can one be such an asshole but so lovable at the same time? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS LEO!

Moving on, I mentioned in my last post how great The Book Thief is, so you better have watched it. To elaborate further, I really thought the movie was amazing. The cast chosen so well, the settings are perfect, it does justice to the book and that is all you ever want from a film adaptation. It makes it come to life, and it’s nice to see it portrayed on the big screen through professionals imaginations after I had read the book and pictured many things quite differently than the film crew and cast. I absolutely love Leisel, she is such an intriguing character. I don’t really want to spoil this one for anybody who hasn’t seen the movie or read the book. Do both. Please.

Onto completely unrelated topics, WHY CAN’T I COOK POTATOES PROPERLY?! SINCE WHEN IS JUNK FOOD NOT A BALANCED DIET?! BLARGHGHGH. Being an adult is poop.

Love you internet. See you tomorrow.

 

 

 

All original content posted is copyright of Helen Neretlis, A Dose of Dysfunction2014 ©

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